The B@#tch came back

My adrenaline is still pumping; heart rate up a little; breathing a bit faster and I imagine my pupils are large too. Deer stuck in the headlights stuff. Fear.

The MICA ambos left well over an hour ago. My little treasure is in bed asleep. But I probably won’t sleep tonight. I will listen for every little sound. Wonder if she is ok. Hope it doesn’t start again. Worry about my boy even though he is calm now.

There hadn’t been one this long, this worrying for quite a while. A seizure. One where she is non-responsive; needing suction; not responding to emergency medication. I haven’t missed them. That’s for sure.

I can manage the little ones. Tell myself they will stop, she will be ok. This one was too long. The nurse said call an ambulance. I said…its her birthday party on Sunday.  The ambulance operator said tell me if anything changes. The paramedic asked about her history, her medications, what has happened tonight, has anything changed recently….. Epilepsy is a bitch. That is all there is to it.

The tears haven’t started yet. But they will. Day three is usually the worst. She is alright. She is sleeping. I will watch and worry but so far so good. She didn’t have to travel this time. No lights; no sirens. Thank goodness. We made her lolly bags tonight….before it began. Tomorrow I am supposed to be baking cupcakes….maybe I’ll buy them. But I wont. We will carry on and prepare for her party because that’s what we do. Because she is tough. Epilepsy is still a bitch.

 

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6 thoughts on “The B@#tch came back

  1. Not to mention the responsibilities that you have, giving meds and the all important decision, whether to transport or not.

  2. it sure is… when they, out of the blue, are found lying in the lounge room squirming and rigid, 1st one,,… ambulance to William Angliss then referred on to the Austin, arrive just on dusk, no where to park fuck it this will do, get to hospital but everything in darkness knocking on doors to try to get access Epilepsy wing, finally someone says yes come thru here this way, they monitor her up and then start testing, flashing lights etc,, stop that she will start up again,, yes that’s what we want to test for, Well I don’t want to go thru it again… horrible day but more to come,,,, one month later to the day having a shower and hear the glass door smashing open and finding her rigid and squirming again, don’t panic, console her and dress her as her brother runs around “what can I do?” get her to bed. and then 45 mins later it starts again, brother rings ambulance ,,rings 911 stuff those American shows realises his mistake and rings 000 ambulance arrives within half an hour, off to the hospital again, she is bruised and battered on her left side,, looks like she’s been in a car wreck.. and so it starts, she is 17, final year at school, exams start next week, driving lessons are cancelled…..Lucky I am, Lucky we are, 5 years of medications(and I put her on the pill cos I was sure it was hormonal seeing she was menstruating both times) she is , we are, LUCKY, no more seizures, Bec has been involved in a long study with the Austin Hospital and in particular withDr. Ingrid and continues today at 33, had to fight the road traffic authority after 5 years of meds and then 5 years of no meds, she drives daily and has been seizure free,, touch wood. we are so lucky.
    We also were Lucky that both times we were there to witness what our daughter was going thru, I saw bewildered parents that had no idea of what their child had been thru, and kept asking them,”What Happened” Like they Knew .
    Shelley … you are inspirational, what you go thru each day, I do Think of you always and my love goes out to you and your family.xxxx

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