Hot and Blue

It’s been that time of year. End of school concerts…Christmas parties…teachers gifts…shopping for family…gatherings with friends…wrapping…cooking…and then it’s here. Christmas. Such a difficult time for many. I was lucky enough to have a lovely day with family. But then it stops. The commitments. The busyness. The rest and quiet I had been longing for all term is here but I’m not enjoying it. Its not exactly restful. Well I don’t have to rush Missy to the bus stop by 7:09am. The usual question of what to make for school lunches is absent. The crazy school routine has paused. But. No school means it’s me for every care need…all me…all of the time.

Meanwhile, everyone else on the entire planet {maybe a slight exaggeration} is away at the beach/mountains/poolside somewhere sipping pretty drinks with umbrellas. At least that’s how it feels. The adventurers include all of Missy’s regular support workers so not even the odd break for me and no shower for her. It’s hard to be so dependent on others but that is the nature of caring. You know, I wouldn’t be doing anything else…it is just so tiring.

Summer is hard. The heat plays havoc with a girl who can’t regulate her temperature and who has increased risk of seizures. Monitoring her fluid intake and environment are constant tasks. Then there is the risk of bush fires {the fire brigade brat runs in my blood} so travel is tricky with all of the can’t-get-this-from-the-local-shop stuff we must carry. And peak time holidays are too expensive on an already stretched budget.  So we stay home and try to stay cool.

Some folk suffer from the winter blues…I get them in summer. It’s so draining. I feel flat, tired and left out. Chronic sorrow has reared it’s head…again. The differences between “us” and “them” is amplified. From the punch-in-the-stomach fun of helping her open that completely inappropriate gift from “someone close” to the having to stay home. We just can’t “pop” anywhere without due consideration and luggage to match. We tried that a couple of days ago. I forgot her tube. She couldn’t have a drink. We went home.

This caring for a kid with high needs is quite isolating sometimes. Post Christmas summer holidays is one of those times.

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