What I am glad I told a newer mum….and what I wish I had added

 
Fellow mum, I was pleased to meet you yesterday. You took me back ten years. To early days when I was still reeling from a diagnosis and unsure of what lay ahead. I enjoyed our chat. And I meant what I said…..

“You are doing a great job.”

It’s true and important for you to hear. Even (or maybe especially) from someone you just met. Not to mention your child is simply gorgeous and clearly adores you. But there is more. I wish I had told you:

• Many of us {in the club} have a particular concern for our kid apart from the obvious fear of hospitalisation. For me it was, and is, learning. I am a teacher so I guess that stands to reason. The first time I found the courage to ask about my daughter’s cognitive ability is etched in a frightful memory. The specialists response was grave and uncertain. But my kid learns…and loves it. The worry that sits heaviest in you is more than understandable. I think your child will surprise you too.
• A diagnosis is most helpful when filling out forms {heads up…there will be many more forms!} and that’s about it. Trust yourself and those in your medical and therapy posse who have earned you respect. And keep asking other parents. Their experience is gold.
• I am still smiling thinking of the way you described your kids together. They are lucky to have each other…and you. Siblings have a tricky road and you are paving it well.
• Google describes “normal” as conforming to a standard; usual, typical or expected. I say every family has their own definition and you are rocking yours.
• It is still early days for you. I distinctly remember waking up one day when Missy was about 3 years old thinking “Ok. So this is us now…let’s do it.”  It really was an overnight change in my headspace that made all the difference to tackling whatever came our way including expecting the unexpected. Patience is indeed a difficult lesson but it will be rewarded.

The most helpful pearl a stranger passed on to me was as simple as it was magnificent. “Enjoy your baby.” I think you already have that one covered.