Smelly

I was just making bread and butter pudding. The aroma of vanilla and freshly grated nutmeg brought back happy memories of puddings past. Then my mind jumped. Smell has such memory but it’s not always pleasant. Disinfectant. Alcohol hand wash. Worry. Despair.

The human brain is a strange beast. I was still grating nutmeg as the sounds and sights of the special care nursery filled my thoughts. Monitors beeping…humidicribs lined up…tiny nappies…wires attached to little bodies. So many wires attached to my girls body. I was there. After fifteen years I can still be transported back there in an instant. My breath quickened and chest felt tight.

The person that baby has become is extraordinary. Unexpectedly so, as the future, back then, looked bleak. The person her mother was has…changed. Nutmeg used to just remind me of Christmas.

 

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