There is something about taking a moment to be still. To meditate with a coffee (it’s a thing…or maybe I’ll make it a thing!). The warmth of the cup in my hands; the sweet caffeine feeding my addiction; taking time to sit and savour it. Usually it would be an opportunity to relax except I did all of this so my head didn’t explode with a stress induced eruption of frustration and bile.
The disability sector is full of great people…humans living their best lives. Unfortunately, we work within a system that often sucks. (Not eloquent I know but…). Last Thursday had the potential to be wonderful, as every day does. But it wasn’t. Bureaucratic bull won and my girl lost. Not forever…oh no. The fight will continue. It will. But I am weary. The battle is long, constant and draining. The adversary is steadfast and tied to their own rules. Did I mention that I am weary?
The next morning I picked up my weapons prepared to battle again. Instead I paused to called the one person who crossed no mans land for us and thank her. I also voiced frustration at the processes that fell apart and the person I believe dropped the ball. She listened. She agreed it was unacceptable. She worked hard to find a suitable solution. She is not the enemy but an empathetic human working within constraints set by people way above ground level. She still has faith in the scheme she is implementing so I shall try to as well.
I took a couple of days to regroup. The battle plan needed review to head into the next week fully armed but hoping for peace. It seems absurd that an war analogy is so fitting. In an ideal world we would hope our children could access the necessities of life even if we, as parents, were unable to provide them at times. This utopia would see us all looking after each other. Human dignity would be held in high esteem. Our girl has brought many fine people into our lives who aspire to all that is just and good. People who have blessed us with their friendship and generosity. So the battle continues but with the realisation that even the system is not the enemy. It is put in place to aim for fairness and hope for equality. It may not be perfect and the stress of working within in is certainly taking it’s toll but we live in a place of hope.